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Drinking Quotes

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The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-- Jeff Bridges

"It seems that researchers at Colorado University say wine may help people lose weight. It's not the wine directly that causes the weight loss, it's all the walking around you do trying to find your car."
-- Jay Leno

"In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer."
-- Dave Barry

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like
me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
-- Homer Simpson

Woman: "Sir you are drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Indeed I am madam, but in the morning I shall be sober, whereas you shall still be ugly"

"I'll admit I may have seen better days... but
I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail,
like a salted peanut."
-- Bette Davis

The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful, and a snootful at the same time?"
-- Gerald R. Ford

"Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in
the saloons, and necking in the parlor."
-- Groucho Marx

"Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?"
-- Robert Benchley

"I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine
sample there was an olive in it."
-- Rodney Dangerfield

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