Drinking Humor

Eighteen Bottles of Whiskey 

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, 
and my wife insisted I empty the contents of 
each bottle down the sink, or else.

After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed 
and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and 
poured the contents down the sink with the exception 
of one glass, which I drank.

Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and 
did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, 
which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and 
poured the whiskey down the sink, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink 
and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank 
one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the 
cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the 
glass, bottled the drink anddrank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with 
one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks 
with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses 
came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the 
houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle 
peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I 
fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker 
I stand here, the longer I get.

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